Thoughts I had at spinning class

No, not spin class. If I want to ride a bike I’d rather be going somewhere on it- because after all, taking your life into your own hands adds some much-needed spice to your daily workout.

Anyway.

On Saturday, my train-knitting-friend Emma and I went along to an Introduction to Wheel Spinning class at the Auckland Spinners and Weavers Guild.

I’ll just say: if you’re a teacher, you should 100% try learning a new skill from time to time. Just to remind you what it’s like. Which brings me to:

Thoughts I had during spinning class

OMG the tutor’s cardigan is gorgeous.

She dyed it, and spun the wool, and knitted it, all herself. New hero.

I should have brought lunch. Almonds and a Kinder Bueno probably aren’t going to cut it.

Oh, it’s OK, biscuits!

There are a lot of different wheels. How am I supposed to pick one? Oh, the small one…

Damn. Emma’s got the small one.

Ooooh, the tutor has a travelling wheel that packs up into a bag. That would be so cool!

I wonder if I could learn to spin with a spindle for that Viking-themed LARP campaign. Then I could make my own yarn at the game…

Damn, that travelling wheel is $900? Guess I’ll have to save up.

I like these other students. They seem cool.

Seriously, $900?! Nine. Hundred.

Oh good, the Guild lets you borrow wheels…

Hnnng, pretty fibre over there. So pretty. I must resist. I already have a tub full of fibre and I don’t even know how to spin yet.

OK, treadling! I can handle this.

Clockwise. OK, treadling clockwise.

STOP GOING F***ING ANTICLOCKWISE WHY ARE YOU DOING THAT.

OK. Clockwise. We can do this.

Wait, I have to slow down?

OK, two feet on the treadle is much easier.

Clockwise, yes.

Parts of the wheel! I know what some of those are!

OK I don’t know what any of these are.

Mother-of-all? So medieval right now.

Crap. The treadling made that bit of spun yarn on the bobbin go away and…oh, that’s what the hook’s for.

Damn, I forgot to keep treadling. Clockwise…clockwise…

OK, she makes this look super easy! I bet we’ll have no trouble picking this up. I can totally do this.

WTF WHY DO YOU KEEP GOING ANTICLOCKWISE WHEN I’M TRYING TO MAKE YOU GO CLOCKWISE.

Why won’t the spun bit go onto the bobbin?

Oh. OK, It has too much twist. Oops.

And we’re drafting, we’re drafting. Well, we’re pretending we’re drafting. We’re practicing the motion with some pre-spun yarn.

Right. I reckon I’ve got it this time.

“That’s brilliant! You could tie up the Queen Mary with that!”

And it’s now too thick to go through the hole.

OK, but I don’t know how to make my fingers draft AND keep the twist out of the drafting zone. Look at me thinking about drafting zones like I know what I’m talking about.

STOP MOTHERF***ING GOING BACK THE OTHER WAY.

OK seriously like half the fluff I’m supposed to be drafting is ending up in a big ball in my hand. How is this even happening?

And we’re drafting, we’re drafting, it’s getting much thinner…

Wait, no, too thin, too thin!

GOD VERDAMMIT. It broke.

OK, yes, start with a new leader.

And…broke again. And now too twisty.

Maybe I should just practice treadling.

Yup, the tutors says treading is my problem.

I bet this is because I haven’t learned to drive. I can’t do one thing with my hands and something else with my feet.

“It’s like patting your head and rubbing your tummy at the same time”. BUT I CAN DO THAT.

I can’t believe I just demonstrated.

Oooh, yes, I do want to join the Guild! You all seem lovely. And then I can borrow a wheel and practice.

Trying on one of the other students wheels. Just treadling.

Yeah, I definitely need a double treadle. This is MUCH easier.

Wow, this yarn the tutor just plied as a demonstration is so gorgeous… I swear I’m going to get the hang of this.

OK, joining the Guild. Oooh, a free handwoven bag as a gift!

Those are all very classy. But obviously I’m going to pick the one that’s woven with a whole bunch of novelty yarns as the weft.

The tutor thinks I have potential! Clearly I must persevere with this…

…and then maybe I’ll be able to justify $900 on a wheel…

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